Sometimes I really hate myself for all the mood swings I have. Do I really crave that much for attention? One moment I can be all happy, the next I can be moody, and then I can suddenly get all angry.

Maybe to Meiyan and Jasmine, tonight was entertainment for them from me. Especially when I started to do stupid things like throwing my pillows around, talking to my stuffed monkeys. The truth, I'm trying to hide my anger, my displeasure and my moodiness.

I don't know what is bothering me! But currently, I really feel like smashing something. Maybe the signs were obvious, when I was typing nonsense on MSN to Serene, Zhikang and Meiyan.

But still, I'll like to apologise to Meiyan for accidentally hitting her with the pillow twice.

I need to let my emotions out, but not run wild. I don't want to sink into another stupid cycle of depression. Biopolar me?