Yes, I've cried again. In less than 12hours, I've cried twice over the same thing. Sometimes even I wonder if what I'm fighting for worth it? I'm not fighting for my own personal gain. I'm fighting for others who I don't even know, appreciate whatever I'm doing for them. So technically, I put myself out to be shot at, and if luckily, they all miss and run out of ammo, I still don't gain anything. So why am I here crying the balls out of my eye for people who don't appreciate what I'm doing? Don't back me in my stand? I'm battling against 19 very outspoken people. 1 Vs 19. The best part, the 19 is fighting for themselves, so they will put up a strong fight. The pathetic 1 is not fighting for herself, but the responsibility angel in her roots her in her stand and is unwilling to be uprooted.

Top 4 huh? Never felt like one. And this incident just proves that I have no power anyway. Cause anyone can just override my decision. Why don't just blatantly put that they need me to do all the paperwork? Cause that is what I'm doing. The business managers are not listening to me much, don't have to talk about respect. Now the GLs side are trying to step on me too. Sometimes I wonder if Toi Goon was in my position now, would they do the same? I sometimes "envy" Toi Goon. She has the almost full support from Leslie when she was in charge, and most in the comm are kind of afraid of her and actually respect her. People don't step on her.

Then people will say. Be like Toi Goon then. Be firm. Hah! I'm being firm here, but where has that brought me to? The basic respect that I'm the FINANCIAL CONTROLLER and is in charge of the finances is not even there. So being firm landed me with names being deemed as rigid and unreasonable.

COME ON! KK said I'm rigid in my thinking. If I was rigid, I would have stuck to the no claims for GL identity. Not a single cent. After saying I'm rigid, then he say I should set very clearly how much is to be spent on what. Like hello? Isn't that more rigid? I give them the autonomy to play with their budget and in actual fact, this is also to cover their cost as they overspent in the OG identities part. I've covered so much of their asses and they don't appreciate it. In chinese, I would say it's DE CHUN JING CHI.

Next, when I was talking nicely to Zongwei, he says that my reasons are crap? $30 is nothing to the comm. Hello! How can $30 be nothing to the comm? Yes, it is a small amount and we could close one eye about it. No one will die. Then it's my turn to question. Then why are the programmers working extra hard to save every cent? Why do they have to go through so much trouble to save cents and probably a couple of dollars? Cause every cent matters. And they are doing this for the comm.

I feel that the GLs should stop thinking just in their point of view. FOC is not just about GL's benefits. Seriously, the GLs have already benefited from this. They get subsidised for something that they can keep for themselves and previously they have to pay it full out of their own pockets. Now we subsidise and they want complain that we don't subsidise enough? Take it or leave it! The GLs are paying because they overspent their budget. So it is natural that they have to pay back. What kind of a subsidy is that if they don't pay anything (excluding the supposed $8.50 per GL because that amount no matter what has to be covered by them since it has exceeded the budget.) ? How can I answer to the whole comm if I allow them to only pay $8.50? Plus, even if they needed an identity, do they even need to buy 3?! Even if I approve of covering GL identity, I would only cover for 1 item! 220 bucks on OG identity for 120 freshies and they spent another 260 on GL identity for 19 GLs. Where is the logic in that? The budget was meant for the OG, ie the freshies. But the bulk of it went where? The GLs.

No logic. Seriously. I should take Jasmine's advice and let go. I couldn't have made my stand any clearer and this has made me so unhappy that my last few moments in Singapore before I fly are spent in tears and leaving me all upset. Maybe they are not worth it after all.

I must wipe my tears and stop thinking about this and start packing my luggage. Norway is more important. To hell with unappreciative people and I should starting for myself.

My 2nd last full day in Singapore before I fly away ended in a very emotional and upset mode for me.

A bloody fight over $1.50 made me be the bad guy and come on, I had nothing to gain.

So I cried, I teared, I complained. But I never wavered in my stand.

Hot news. As I was typing this, I heard more things that made me more pissed. Maybe I should revert back to my original stand which is equals to no claim at all. Since I'm hated. Hate me till the end then.

Best part is, now the whole GL comm knows. Hah! How WONDERFUL is that?

Another sleepless night. Damn.

It's been a LONG LONG LONG while since I've gotten so ANGRY that i couldn't sleep at night. Maybe it's even the first time. The incident keeps replaying in my mind that even until now, my blood is boiling.

You might be think who am I angry with or what is it that I'm angry about. I will only say that the guy has totally dropped down to the bottom of the friends list. Not like he had a good ranking anyway, but if I can divide my list of people I know into LOVES on top and Totally Disgusted at the bottom, I can tell you. He is now on the verge of falling off. In the beginning, he was hovering around the middle of the range. Now he is right below. Lost all respect of him. Really. Though I never saw him as someone great, at least he was neutral. Now, totally bad. Of course, I'm not so petty and degrade him to the bottom just because of one incident. There are many incidents before that totally turns me off and this last incident was just the spark to trigger the hate.

Grr, really hate it that my LAST week in Singapore is RUINED by such a person. Gah!

Mind my language, but F**K OFF, S**KA!

Went rock climbing at James' Rock Climbing Gym yesterday. My first ever rock climbing experience. The first impression when I reach the place was, " I'm afraid of HEIGHTS!!!!"

Seriously. I was so afraid that I thought I would waste my money. But luckily, I didn't. :)

Rock climbing is super TOUGH! I almost died! But at least I managed to conquer one wall. Climb half of a more difficult wall. And help to belay! Belaying is quite fun actually. Hehe.

My arms are aching now. Can't type properly. Gah!

Oh ya! I've got a guitar!!! WOOHOO! But can't play now. Due to aching arms and trembling fingers. :(

Hey! I've got a new blog! No, no! I'm not moving. It's just that I've created a new blog for my Norway trip. All private, emotional posts will still be posted here, but my life in Norway will be posted there.

Technically, other than the skin that is already up, the new blog has 0 post at the moment. Hehe. But stay tuned! I'll most likely post a pre-trip post. It's a process that I need to record down, so even the pre-trip packing must be recorded down. I hope I will not get lazy and upload photos! :/ *cross fingers*

Other than a new blog, I've gotten myself a new phone too. :) & :(

:) because it's a new phone and I love new stuff. :)

:( because I miss my N73. I love my old stuffs too. That's why I'm a Garang Guni. :(

My new Norway blog address is here : My Norwegian Escapade