I can't sleep. Many images and thoughts are running through my head right now.

I can be quite certain that they are definitely not the people I thought they were when we were still in Singapore.

I remember having a hard time over here when the news got to me. Maybe even devastated. When I was feeling sad in the morning, instead of asking if anything was wrong, they chose to walk away from me. She knows what happened, but it never occurred to her I'll be sad? How can she later in the day tell me that I suddenly turned emo? The other she changed so much. Now, her life and fun revolved around him and her. All others, she don't really have much time for. Disappointing, so if they move, she will move. No questions asked. He, mentioned before that if he cares for someone, he will ask if that person is ok. Never happened to me. Always the "in" guy. Whatever he does, someone will definitely follow. Leader of the pack? But is he always right? I don't think so. But he thinks he is. And the people around think he is too. So who am I to say anything else?

I'm getting immuned to being left out. They always say perfect information. Like real! Maybe just within the 3 of them. 2 of them will definitely share info, like duh, they are always together. The other she, like I said, wants to have fun and be in the "in" group. They find her interesting and funny anyway. So info stops there. I feel like I'm being brought back to Primary School times, when whenever I ask, they either roll their eyes and can't be bothered to tell me or they just ignore me. Wonderful right? Oh, must I mention that I hated my Primary School life?

I remember this so vividly. Recording for a lecture I missed with her was done. But the recording was only passed to her. When I asked, I got "THE LOOK" and was chided to watch the online one instead. Oh my, they are so friendly. If I didn't accidentally overhear them talking about recording, I wouldn't even know they recorded it. Maybe in this case, if I didn't know, I would feel better.

They are now a party of 3 and they are just obliged to include me cause it was supposed to be a party of 4. Seeing the way they outcast other people, bitch about other people, I know that they have been talking behind my back. Someone can vouch for that anyway. I've got confirmation that they have indeed been talking behind my back. At this rate, I'll soon be outcasted and seriously, I can "wait" and hear endless stories behind my back.

Even the jokes I say are met with silence. If someone else was to say the same thing, they would be laughing. But as long as it comes out from me. No way. I'll be glad if it is just silence. Sometimes I just get snapped at. Wonderful right?

It's not just here. Where is my special friend when I need her? Am I just a phase in her life? Maybe. Probably. Most likely. She no longer has time to listen to me. No time to sit down and provide me with a listening ear, a compassionate heart and sincere advice.

I'll always be a face without a name. A blurry face most likely.