Yes, I've cried again. In less than 12hours, I've cried twice over the same thing. Sometimes even I wonder if what I'm fighting for worth it? I'm not fighting for my own personal gain. I'm fighting for others who I don't even know, appreciate whatever I'm doing for them. So technically, I put myself out to be shot at, and if luckily, they all miss and run out of ammo, I still don't gain anything. So why am I here crying the balls out of my eye for people who don't appreciate what I'm doing? Don't back me in my stand? I'm battling against 19 very outspoken people. 1 Vs 19. The best part, the 19 is fighting for themselves, so they will put up a strong fight. The pathetic 1 is not fighting for herself, but the responsibility angel in her roots her in her stand and is unwilling to be uprooted.

Top 4 huh? Never felt like one. And this incident just proves that I have no power anyway. Cause anyone can just override my decision. Why don't just blatantly put that they need me to do all the paperwork? Cause that is what I'm doing. The business managers are not listening to me much, don't have to talk about respect. Now the GLs side are trying to step on me too. Sometimes I wonder if Toi Goon was in my position now, would they do the same? I sometimes "envy" Toi Goon. She has the almost full support from Leslie when she was in charge, and most in the comm are kind of afraid of her and actually respect her. People don't step on her.

Then people will say. Be like Toi Goon then. Be firm. Hah! I'm being firm here, but where has that brought me to? The basic respect that I'm the FINANCIAL CONTROLLER and is in charge of the finances is not even there. So being firm landed me with names being deemed as rigid and unreasonable.

COME ON! KK said I'm rigid in my thinking. If I was rigid, I would have stuck to the no claims for GL identity. Not a single cent. After saying I'm rigid, then he say I should set very clearly how much is to be spent on what. Like hello? Isn't that more rigid? I give them the autonomy to play with their budget and in actual fact, this is also to cover their cost as they overspent in the OG identities part. I've covered so much of their asses and they don't appreciate it. In chinese, I would say it's DE CHUN JING CHI.

Next, when I was talking nicely to Zongwei, he says that my reasons are crap? $30 is nothing to the comm. Hello! How can $30 be nothing to the comm? Yes, it is a small amount and we could close one eye about it. No one will die. Then it's my turn to question. Then why are the programmers working extra hard to save every cent? Why do they have to go through so much trouble to save cents and probably a couple of dollars? Cause every cent matters. And they are doing this for the comm.

I feel that the GLs should stop thinking just in their point of view. FOC is not just about GL's benefits. Seriously, the GLs have already benefited from this. They get subsidised for something that they can keep for themselves and previously they have to pay it full out of their own pockets. Now we subsidise and they want complain that we don't subsidise enough? Take it or leave it! The GLs are paying because they overspent their budget. So it is natural that they have to pay back. What kind of a subsidy is that if they don't pay anything (excluding the supposed $8.50 per GL because that amount no matter what has to be covered by them since it has exceeded the budget.) ? How can I answer to the whole comm if I allow them to only pay $8.50? Plus, even if they needed an identity, do they even need to buy 3?! Even if I approve of covering GL identity, I would only cover for 1 item! 220 bucks on OG identity for 120 freshies and they spent another 260 on GL identity for 19 GLs. Where is the logic in that? The budget was meant for the OG, ie the freshies. But the bulk of it went where? The GLs.

No logic. Seriously. I should take Jasmine's advice and let go. I couldn't have made my stand any clearer and this has made me so unhappy that my last few moments in Singapore before I fly are spent in tears and leaving me all upset. Maybe they are not worth it after all.

I must wipe my tears and stop thinking about this and start packing my luggage. Norway is more important. To hell with unappreciative people and I should starting for myself.