Yesterday was the long awaited TJChoir chalet. Well, at least I looked forward to it, cause I'm really bored at home. Haha.

Almost didn't go cause mum was afraid of the dengue thingy going on in Pasir Ris. But I'm such a naughty girl, I still went even though I know that mum would rather I not go.

But anyway, in the afternoon, went back to hall for banner painting, but kenna cheated. Cause when I reached, they were done! Gosh, only left the hanging of banners which would be a task for the guys there, so I just went back to hall for nothing lah! Think hall in Boon Lay ,west west west. Think chalet in Pasir Ris, east east east! Aiyo! But still at least they entertained me with the slippers incident. Super funny.

Chalet was ok, Aloha is great cause parking is free. Haha. I was super crazy, super no xing xiang, as usual but I wasn't all that high as I showed. Like what I told Shux. I was laughing, but I wasn't laughing laughing, I was laughing cause the other people were laughing.

BBQ was ok, liked the new way of eating Otah, though it's super fattening. Otah with mayo! Nice! But started feeling weird when they started playing english songs and when Jas came. Maybe I crave for attention, so when I feel that the attention is on someone else, I start to hide in my shell again. Haiz, hate that aspect of me. Was kinda disappointed lah, cause I felt that I was a substitute. I was a substitute for Jas. When Jas is not ard, I'm wanted. But when Jas is around, I'm not required. This is not the first time that I feel this way. Jealousy? Attention craving? Maybe. Maybe not.

Not in a great mood cause Asih really didn't know when to stop. Really don't like it when people just criticise my idols. I never criticise hers, so why go on and on about mine? Once in a while, I can accept, but when they don't know when to stop, it gets on my nerves.

Went blog visiting today. Read ml's blog. Ok, maybe not read, I should just say, I saw her pics she put on her blog. I watched the whole round. And I realised that I never took a pic with her. She had pictures of our other classmates but no me. Well, I'm kinda ok about it, cause I think prob she thinks we're not close. We prob aren't considered close, but when I think back to JC1, when ml, bx and I were close. Things do change over time huh?

This photo incident doesn't really affect my mood now, but it made me think back. Think through a lot of stuff. If everyone had to make a choice, to pick one friend that impacted his/her life the most. Would I be on anyone's list? I doubt so. Sometimes I really don't like playing second fiddle to others. But I am, and will always be.

Do I not try hard enough? I never bother to ask people how are they doing? Is that why I always never know what's going on in my friends' lives? Seeing friends getting attached is a happy thing. But sometimes when I'm alone, I wish I didn't have to be around those attached. I'm not attractive. I don't have a wonderful personality. I don't know how to talk to people. I'm temperamental. I'm everything a guy doesn't want. Well, I'm not desperate, just despair.

My mood is down in the drain today. Dang! :(