Realised that I've been making quite a bit of hospital visits recently. Suddenly, people around me are getting admitted to hospital. It all started off when an uncle from my mother's side got into a car accident and was admitted into hospital. Then it was my maternal grandmother who started to make very frequent visits to the hospital for swells and pain and operations. But I think the 2 that I have most impression of is my uncle, who is my mum's brother and my paternal side cousin.

For my uncle's case, he went for an operation to remove part of his colon. Cancer. 4th stage. Although the colon part is cut off, apparently his liver is infected to. The period when people were hiding from him that the problem is not totally solved till the time he was told by the doctor and broke down was really like a dream to me. I don't know. Don't seem to living in reality. Seeing mum and knowing her, I know it must be devastating. She lost her eldest sister and her father to cancer already, now her brother too. So who's next? Just this thought can send shivers down my spine. This means that it is hereditary? So it is also possible that my mum will get cancer? I don't want to think too much about this. I can't bare to. And I shouldn't worry about things that might not happen. So, choy! Touch wood! Really, I think we should all make the best out of everyday that we have. Just like my uncle would.

For my cousin, I feel more, cause I'm much closer to her. I grew up with her though she is like 8 years older than me. Had an operation to change her heart valve. I remember going to hospital to visit her everyday when I was still working. 1st was when she was admitted to get ready for the operation but was postponed in the end. The first time in my life I see her break down and cry because of the fear and uncertainty. Then, when she had her operation, I had my first visit to the ICU. Seriously, I was very scared and it pained me to see tubes and needles in her. She couldn't really breathe properly n stuff, cause the wound is at the chest. But when she moved her hand from under the blanket and lifted it a little to wave to us, I couldn't control my tears. I wasn't bawling, but tears were threatening to fall and one or two did escape from the corners of my eyes. Everyday, my brother and I would make our way to the ICU to see her. Go in max 3 at a time, and if we walking to the ward itself, we can only go in twos and we had to wash our hands whenever we enter and exit the ward. When she was finally moved to the normal ward, in 1 visit I saw her vomit like twice. Even though she only drank plain water. Mixed feelings really. But luckily, she's doing well, and her MC has ended I suppose, and is back at work. I remember when we went to grandma's house, she couldn't laugh cause it would be painful, but seriously, I kept making her laugh. Haha. Well, at least she can go to work now. And I saw part of her wound. And I was like yikes! Don't let me see it. I scared. Haha. Oh well. May she totally recover in no time and be able to eat seafood and stuff!

I'm not trying to go all emo here, but when Dad told me today that grandma is in hospital again and my mum is there accompanying her, I can't help but think back on all of those and feel a bit down and out. Oh well, I'll be strong and try not to think too pessimistic thoughts. Probably going off to Tan Tock Seng Hospital later to visit grandma, so I shall just sign off here.