It's finally over. And I'm supposed to be happy. Am I? Truthfully, no. In fact, I actually in an emo mood now. Is it because now I feel my life is empty without practices and stuff? Somehow, I think the answer is no.

Was the showcase a success? I don't know. I didn't feel that it was a success. But I'm not sure what the others think. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I'm a perfectionist. So many maybes but I know that quite a few screw ups was due to me. And the most serious and most unforgivable one was that I actually forgot the minus one for Jingqi's songs. Not one but both her songs! Hers was the first song! I looked at the song list thousands of times. I even commented that we have a lot of minus one tracks this year. But I still forgot 2 minus ones. My videos cui-ed. Especially the duet one. Hah! And to think I spend 3 days 3 nights in a row trying to rush out the vids. Maybe that was the case too. I was too caught up with the vid making that I overlooked such an important thing called the minus one tracks.

My performance? My first song was performed in a blank state of mind. When I realised that I didn't have Jingqi's minus one, I was kind of stunned. The first song of the whole program and I didn't have the minus one. So I subbed myself up first. To buy time for the minus one to be downloaded. Luckily it could be or else I really really will bang my head on the wall and die. So I just went up. Performed and went off. My other song was a duet with Zhikang that failed terribly. Haha. Easy for me to say cause I didn't have any harmonising parts. Can't really blame him too, cause we never really had enough time to practice our duet. He was too busy helping me teach despite him not staying in hall anymore. The finale song sucked too. But hey, we only practiced the night before. So I can't really expect much rite?

I would really really like to thank all the Sing and Strummers for making this possible. For their dedication, their effort and their graciousness in putting up with all my angst when things weren't going the way I wanted it to.

Thanks to Siang Hong, for really putting in the effort to practice his song after our talk with him
Thanks to Eddie for finding his own instrumentalist. Great initiative.
Thanks to Grace for playing the guitar for me and the drums for my duet and the finale song.
Thanks to Edwin for guest singing.
Thanks to Xixun for guest singing too.
Thanks to Benjamin for helping his roomie Siang Hong for his song.
Thanks to Zong Wei for helping me with the food.
Thanks to Isis for helping us play so many many songs.
Thanks to Jingqi for arranging the duet practices on her own and coming back to hall after teaching and rushing back home after practice.
Thanks to Meiyan for turning up for the rehearsal and helping by singing 2 songs for us despite her heavy heavy workload.
Thanks to Zhikang for helping me a lot. The audios for the videos. The teaching of the juniors. Helping me with some decisions that I was uncertain about. For pushing me when I stopped moving. For coming down early to help set up. For all the meals he bought for me.

Really a big thank you to all that helped me in one way or another. Example Teckpin for emcee-ing, and Bernie for providing her sub-commers help. And of cause all the people who came down to support. The showcase would be nothing without all of you. Thanks a lot! :)

Note: I can't believe I'm crying.

I'm overwhelmed. Really. And I'm tired. Project datelines week after week. Presentation week after week. Compulsory work at the busiest time of my sem. And now this Showcase that is looming. Please! Cut me some slack!

Next week will be a killer week. And the work starts right now. Preparations for 2 presentation next week. Preparation for showcase. Research, powerpoint slides, speech, arrangement of songs, getting a guitar, arranging for food, having practices, making of videos, practicing my own song and work! That's what I need to do this week. Next week would be presentation on Tuesday and most probably Wednesday and showcase on Thursday. Seriously, kill me.

Projects, what can I say, just blame it on this sem. It's really a killer sem.

Showcase. I'm not the head. I never saw myself as the head. But I'm supposed to be? I don't know. Just because the head went for an exchange, so everything now falls onto me? I didn't ask for all this shit to be thrown to me! If I was the head, I would say, ok, it's my responsibility. But I'm not! So when life starts to get shitty, my mood will get shitty too. It doesn't help that Mr Blockhead is not helping by being nonchalant about his duet, refusing to make any effort to prac his duet. Find singers, liaise with all the admin stuff, get music, arrange for prac, find instrumentalists, find guest singers, do up the videos all under me. Hello! I'm not superwoman! I'm appreciative that some people are trying to help me, but seriously, I'm dying and I feel like giving up. Why can't I just be like some people, just sit back and relax and wait for the performance date? I'm not the head anyway.

BAHH!!! I need to plan my time.

Wednesday night (now):
Prepare for PEP meeting tomorrow.
Prepare for SMP meeting tomorrow.
Settle the guitar with Edwin.
Confirm the flow of songs for showcase.

Thursday:
Lessons.
SMP meeting.
PEP meeting
Tennis.
More PEP and SMP and TCP.

Friday:
More PEP, SMP and TCP.
Attempt video.

Saturday:
Work. 10-5
Attempt video.
PEP, TCP, SMP

Sunday:
Finalise TCP. Send out.
SMP, PEP.
Sing and Strum prac.

and the list goes on, but I refuse to do it. TCP, PEP, SMP, can all kill me. Showcase is just the icing to the cake. :/